Torch Those Bikinis!

NEW YORK—I don’t know about you, but I’m circling my calendar and stocking whiskey for the night of September 10, when ABC will go prime-time live from Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City for the Miss America…

…uh, wait, can’t call it a pageant…

…the Miss America…

…let’s see, can’t say anything about beauty because they got rid of the swimsuit competition…

…the Miss America…

…I almost wanna call it a talent show like American Idol but then again that’s not what the organizers are saying it is…

…the Miss America…

…scholarship competition?—but that would be what they called it last year and supposedly this is the new improved Miss America…

…so the Miss America…

Wait wait wait, I’ve almost got it.

What do you call young women of all shapes and sizes being interviewed on stage by a panel of judges and giving “world peace” answers like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality?

Gotta be a name for that, right?

We need to go deeper. Checking The New York Times—okay, it’s gonna be all about “female empowerment and gender equality,” so I guess it will be open to men for the first time and…

…wow, this …

Read more at Joe Bob’s America on Taki’s Mag
(The opinions in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Southern Nation News or SN.O.)

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