Heckle Nation

Back in the ’80s I worked comedy clubs, and, depending on the night, the venue, the crowd, and the level of alcohol consumption, you could sometimes get absolutely eviscerated by hecklers.

One time I was working this club called Charlie Goodnight’s in Raleigh, North Carolina, alongside a Fernwood 2 Night regular named Bill Kirchenbauer. (Fernwood 2 Night was a wonderful talk-show parody starring Martin Mull and Fred Willard that was canceled for being too intelligent.)

So my first night at the club Bill comes up to me before I go on and he says, “Joe Bob, I just wanna give you a heads-up. There are assholes here, and there are no asshole-removers.

I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant, but he quickly elaborated: “Specifically the second table, second row, on the left.” (He had just finished a set.)

“It’s not like Vegas. In Vegas they have asshole-removers. They know how to slide up to the table, grab them under the armpits, lift their elbows up, and remove them. There are no asshole-removers here. You will get no asshole-removing assistance.”

Bill was right—second table, second row was ground zero for trouble—and what he was referring …

Read more at Joe Bob’s America on Taki’s Mag
(The opinions in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Southern Nation News or SN.O.)

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