I purposely try to keep political commentary to a minimum on the blog. I swore off politics long ago to level out my blood pressure. But just every once in a while current events make me feel a lot like Michael Corleone must have felt.
“Every time I think I’m free, they suck me right back in.”
Corruption, vote buying and arm-twisting in Washington are nothing new. However, every once in a great while a crew comes along that elevates public bottom-feeding to a new low. When this happens the cynic in me naturally wants to speak out. So, in a spirit of bi-partisan benevolence and therapy, I offer these great political revelations that it took decades to learn and that generally apply to both major parties.
- When a politician gives you a check, don’t wait. Run to the bank before all the other people who got checks can get there. The last one to a teller always loses.
- Yes, politicians want your vote, but they want your money more.
- Politicians never spend their own money. Why should they when they have so much of yours lying around?
- If you find such a rarity as an honest politician, stay away from him. Like a rogue lion, the mythical honest politician can’t be out-guessed. The regular, crooked politician is more predictable and much safer. (So is the rogue lion.)
- Politicians regularly lie about being honest politicians. (See #4) Edwin Edwards of Louisiana was the only one I remember who told the truth about it. Remember what the truth got him? Incarceration.
- Mr. Smith goes to Washington was a movie. When the real Mr. Smith goes to DC, any Jimmy Stewart tendencies are discarded at the sight of the first cocktail waitress willing to enjoy your money.
- “Women and children first” only applied on the Titanic. In Washington, it is “Interns and cocktail waitresses first.”
- If a tree fell on a politician in the forest, the only sound you would hear is the scream of the last person that tried to cash his check. (See #1.)
Deo Vindice. Resurgam!
CPW
#FreeDixie
